Loving you

By Prabalta Rijal

"Of course I will Marry you," his words still rang in her ears, her cheeks were stained with tears her pillow wet from all the crying. "Why, why,why," she thought, he had no reason to lie to her and yet he had.

He had assured her time and again that he would marry her but his sheer aloofness had made her wonder if he actually meant it.She felt like a fool for falling in love with a married man.

Oh he was sweet alright,he had put in so much effort to woo her and now that she was madly in love with him he became aloof,from a princess he adored to a stone he hardly cared about. Her heart kept calling out to him but he didn't hear it.

Two years sweetheart that's all I need and I will be all yours he had said. "I need to do this for my kids, I don't want to hurt them in anyway," he would say. And she believed him and had hung on to his every word.

Sammy knew she loved him not because he was drop dead gorgeous,in fact he was far from it.She had fallen in love with him for his caring nature the fact that he was so understanding and the more she got to know him the more she adored him. 

He was adorable in so many ways,she loved his eyes,the way they twinkled every time he got excited. his mischievous smile that always told you that he's up to something,in fact it was his smile that had given him off that Friday.

Sammy could tell from his smile that he wasn't just taking photos for an article like he said,he was up to something and that's what led her to check his face book account and to her surprise he was flirting with his wife,the same wife he claimed not to have feelings for, the same wife he claimed to fight with every weekend the same wife  who he kept saying that he couldn't live with.

Her heart sank, she knew it that very instant that she had walked into his trap.He didn't love her,he was just looking for excitement outside his marriage.He wouldn't leave his wife for her,he never intended to.

Things began making sense like why he had jerked her hand off and why he kept freaking out about someone seeing them together.She had promised to give him his two years,and she kept trying to be as understanding as possible. "I need to talk to him,I'm sure there's a perfect explanation for this," she kept telling herself, but deep down inside she knew that there really was no perfect explanation.

She knew he was lying, but she couldn't let go, I will act like everything is alright she thought, but she couldn't breathe and felt suffocated, she truly loved him she had accepted him for who he was and had trusted his every word.

Why did u say you love me, she screamed out loud, to his photograph on her screen,she felt numb, the fact that he was miles away meant she couldn't see him or rush to see him for answers.plus he had made it very clear to her not to call or text him. "I need to be very careful that I don't get caught because I want to end my marriage as amicably as possible," he kept telling her every time she asked him to be around more often.

She hadn't ever gone against his wishes because she loved him and children were always her weak spot, she had always believed that children should never be made to suffer for the mistakes their parents make and it was because of this she never asked for anything but his time.


It was 3 am and her eyes hurt,but her tears didn't stop rolling out, have I misunderstood your actions?" she asked his photo on her screen, I wish you were here, even if it was for ten minutes I'm hurt honey and I need you,she whispered as more tears rolled down her cheek and onto her neck.


She knew that there were no explanations,and she knew what he would say," I was just informing her that I wouldn't be coming home,you know we aren't in talking terms," or he would just change the topic and her how her dragon was.


If he had nothing to hide, why did he lie about what he was doing? She knew he would say something  utterly crazy, and  even if it was the weirdest of stories she would take his word for it.Sammy, felt helpless around him as no matter how many times her mind told her to stop, she still trusted his every word,she knew she was miserable cause he wasn't around,cause he hardly cared about her these days,cause he always had excuses,but most of all she was hurt cause he had lied to her.

She knew that the minute he was around her anger would subside,she knew that she really would have no choice but to trust him! Eventhough deep down inside she knew they were all lies she was willing to take that extra risk and go that extra mile cause she loved him immensely!